Some people leave you lighter, more encouraged, more like yourself. Others leave you drained. A reflection on paying attention to who you become around the people you spend your time with.
Have you ever walked away from spending time with someone and thought:
I really like who I am around them.
Maybe you laugh more.
You feel lighter.
You leave encouraged.
You think differently.
You feel more confident, more peaceful, or simply more like yourself.
And then there are other relationships where you walk away feeling drained, negative, anxious, insecure, or somehow less like the person you want to be.
I've learned to pay attention to that.
Because the people around us influence us more than we probably realize.
Their conversations, attitudes.
The way they talk about other people, handle hard things, what they complain about.
What they appreciate.
What they believe is possible.
Over time, what surrounds us starts to feel normal.
And that's why I've constantly come back to this throughout the years:
Who do I become around the people I spend my time with?
I think that's a better question than asking whether someone is "good" or "bad."
Because this isn't about judging people. I like to say, “leave the judging to Jesus.” 😂
And it certainly isn't about only surrounding yourself with successful, ambitious, positive people.
Some of the people who bring out the best in us aren't pushing us to accomplish more at all.
They help us slow down, make us laugh, they listen, they remind us what matters.
They encourage us when we're doubting ourselves.
They tell us the truth when we need to hear it.
They make us want to be kinder, braver, healthier, more present, or more ourselves.
Those people matter.
I've intentionally put myself in different rooms and environments throughout my life because I've learned how much the people around me can expand my perspective.
Sometimes that's a conference or training, but sometimes it's coffee with a friend.
Dinner with someone who thinks differently than I do.
A conversation with someone older and wiser.
A book, church, a workout partner.
Or simply spending more time with someone whose life and character I admire.
Growth doesn't always look like doing more.
Sometimes growth is simply noticing what brings out the best in you and choosing more of it.
The opposite is worth noticing too.
Are there people or environments where you find yourself gossiping more, complaining more, doubting yourself, trying to prove yourself?
Falling back into habits or behaviors you don't really like?
Again, that doesn't necessarily make those people bad.
It simply gives you information and maybe part of becoming your best self is paying attention to that information.
So here's something to reflect on this week:
Who brings out the best in me?
Who am I becoming around the people I spend the most time with?
And who do other people become around me?
Simply pay attention. Spend more time with the people who bring out something good in you and work to be that person for others, too.
Because maybe building your best life isn't just about finding the right people to surround yourself with.
It's also about becoming that person for someone else.
Onward & Upward to YOUR BEST SELF,
Tara Allen
From the Vault: If this hit home, you'll love More Is Caught Than Taught.
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