Life Is Precious. Don't Waste It.

About four years ago, I had the honor of doing legacy interviews with a woman I didn’t really know, I just knew her through our kids.

I found out she had terminal cancer. She was my age and had three kids under nine.

It broke my heart, and I couldn’t stop thinking about her little kids. If that were me, what would I do? Then I would think of Jayda and Brynlee, and it would break my heart all over again, thinking of them without me and of me not being able to watch them grow up.

Cancer sucks. Losing loved ones sucks. Watching families go through the unbearable well, it’s unbearable. And if you are battling a health challenge, walking through something incredibly hard, or watching someone you love go through it, I am sorry. I know words don’t make it easier, but I don’t want to tell this story without acknowledging you, too.

Well, I decided to take a risk. I knew I could be crossing a very big line by asking, or maybe it would be well received. I reached out to her via Facebook Messenger and asked if she had ever made videos for her kids to remember her by since they were so little.

I even said, “I am so sorry if I am crossing a line. You can tell me to F-off!” Lol.

Within about 20 minutes, she wrote me back a long message thanking me for addressing the elephant in the room because no one ever does, she said no one wants to talk about death. She said she had always wanted to make the videos but never had as it seemed so overwhelming.

And then she told me she had just found out within the last week that her chemo was no longer working.

Coincidence that the quiet voice in my head had been telling me for two weeks to reach out after one of her kids stayed the night at my house?

No.

On a side note, this is your reminder: Have the courage to listen to that voice.

From there, within a week, I compiled pages of questions, found a videographer, and scheduled our first shoot. We had three over a 2-3 month period.

It was one of the hardest things I have ever experienced and also one of the most rewarding, heart filling things I have ever done.

After the first session, I couldn’t even function. I couldn’t work. I just went home and cried.

I won’t get into the details, but what I can tell you is that it changed me.

It changed my perspective. It made what I thought were problems not feel like problems anymore. They are a privilege because I get to be here.

I simply get to live.

I share this story because I think so many of us take the little things for granted. We make the small things big things. We forget to appreciate. We forget to realize how valuable our relationships are and how precious our time really is. Don’t overcomplicate it.

Don’t focus on what you don’t have. Focus on what you have.

Say thank you more. Give more compliments. Give grace. And remember, you never know the battle someone is fighting or the things they have been through.

No one is that good, and no one is that bad. We just are.

And you get to decide how you respond to life, how you show up, and how you treat others.

Hi, it’s you!!

To end the story, she gained her angel wings at the young age of 38, about a month after shooting our last video and our kids are still friends. I think of her often and am extremely blessed she allowed me that opportunity. There is nothing that prepares you to watch a mother say goodbye to her kids. That will put you in check quickly. The way you look at things change.

It was just as much a gift to me as it was for her kids who I know will appreciate those videos as they get older.

Friends, life is precious, don’t waste it. We don’t get to know when our day is so don’t forget to make sure the people you love know it.

Make today count. Make a difference. Show up.

Choose happiness. Choose kindness.

Your friend,

Tara

From the Vault: If this hit home, you'll love What Will I Say at the End of My Life?.