Everyone You Meet Is Fighting a Battle You Know Nothing About

Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

One of my favorite quotes is:

Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

The older I get, the more I believe it's true.

Some people are carrying grief. Some are carrying anxiety. Some are silently battling depression. Some are facing financial stress. Some are walking through divorce. Some are caring for aging parents. Some are fighting illnesses no one else can see.

And some... have reached a place where they no longer believe tomorrow will be better than today. Recently, my husband lost a close family friend to suicide. Just days before, they had spent nearly a week together fishing, laughing, talking, making memories.

Then, suddenly, he was gone, something a lot of us have been affected by. Whenever something like this happens, our minds naturally begin asking impossible questions.

Did I miss something?

Should I have asked more questions?

Could I have done something differently?

Those questions are incredibly common after a loss like this. They come from love and we can’t carry that guilt or keep asking the ‘what ifs?”. But they also remind us of something heartbreaking: many people carry pain so quietly that even those closest to them don't fully see it.

It has also brought back memories of other funerals I've attended because of suicide. Each one has reminded me how carefully some people hide their pain. We often assume we know how someone is doing because they smiled, showed up, laughed.

Because they seemed "fine." But appearances rarely tell the whole story.

What if we slowed down?

What if we all slowed down just enough to become more curious than judgmental?

Instead of assuming someone is rude... what if they're overwhelmed?

Instead of assuming someone is distant... what if they're exhausted?

Instead of assuming someone "has it all together"... what if they're barely hanging on?

We may not always know the depth of someone else's battle, but we can make sure the people around us know they don't have to face it alone.

The greatest gift we can give

Maybe the greatest gift we can give someone isn't advice, maybe it's our presence.

Maybe it's asking one more question, listening a little longer.

Maybe it's reminding someone:

You matter.

I'm here.

You don't have to carry this alone.

If you're reading this and life feels unbearably heavy right now, I hope you'll hear this:

This moment is not your forever

I've lived through seasons I thought would never end. I've watched friends survive things they never imagined they could. I've watched grief soften. I've watched hope return.

I've watched people rebuild lives they thought were over.

Whatever you're carrying today... don't carry it alone. Someone loves you. Someone needs you. Someone would much rather sit with you through your hardest day than lose you forever. Because this too shall pass.

Reflection Questions

Who in your life might need a phone call today?

Who have you assumed is "doing fine?"

Is there someone you've been meaning to check on?

And if you're the one carrying the weight... who can you reach out to today?

If you're struggling, please don't try to carry it all by yourself.

Call someone. Sit with someone. Tell someone the truth about how you're feeling. You don't need to have the answers. You don't need to figure out your whole life today. Sometimes you just need someone beside you while you take the next step.

And if someone comes to mind while you're reading this, reach out to them. Don't assume they're okay. Make the call. Send the text. Ask the second question. Listen a little longer.

You never know what someone is carrying.

Be kind. Be present. And remind the people you love that they matter.

Because no matter how dark today feels, today is not forever.

Your friend,

Tara Allen