At our Fourth of July gathering, I realized I didn't really know what was happening in some of my family's lives. Every meaningful relationship is built one conversation at a time.
This Fourth of July, our family gathered together like we do every year.
There was laughter, good food, kids running around, and stories being shared. One of those days that reminds you how fortunate you are to simply be together.
But somewhere in the middle of it all, I had a thought that stopped me.
As I looked around the room, I realized they were my family... yet I didn't really know what was happening in some of their lives.
Not because we don’t want to be close.
Not because we don't care.
Simply because life gets busy or maybe we are just too surface level and not intentional enough with the relationship.
It made me wonder...
Do I know what they're excited about right now?
What they're struggling with?
What they're dreaming about?
Or have our conversations become mostly about schedules, work, sports, and what's next…surface level?
That's when a simple thought hit me that I learned long ago:
The conversation is the relationship.
Every meaningful relationship is built one conversation at a time. The quality of our conversations often determines the quality of our relationship.
I don't think most relationships drift apart because people stop loving each other.
I think they drift because we slowly stop being curious about each other. Or maybe people get too caught up in their own lives, they don’t even realize how much they haven’t been intentional in strengthening their relationship.
We assume our spouse will tell us if something's wrong.
We assume our kids/siblings are okay.
We assume our parents know we care.
But assumptions don't build connections. Conversations do.
When was the last time you asked someone you love: "How are you... really?"
And then slowed down long enough to truly listen.
Relationships don't grow accidentally. They grow intentionally.
One conversation.
One question.
One moment of genuine curiosity at a time.
I needed this reminder too because I want to actually know the people I love & we never know if we will get an opportunity to call them tomorrow because no one is guaranteed tomorrow.
So here's my challenge for both of us this week. Call your parents, your sibling, your best friend since high school.
Take a walk with your spouse.
Ask your kids a question that can't be answered with one word.
Be curious, listen more than you talk. (It’s hard I know!! 😂)
Because the conversation isn't just part of the relationship...
The conversation is the relationship.
And sometimes, one conversation can change a life.
To deeper relationships & no regrets,
Tara
From the Vault: If this hit home, you'll love How Do Two People Who Love Each Other Drift Apart?.
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